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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Who doesn't intuit the answer to my rhetorical question? Hubby hasn't been too dastardly for a while, although I did have to make a quick detour to meet with a kind stranger yesterday, who had picked up the wallet he had managed to drop in the parking lot of the art supply store. Thank you Rick. I'm glad my card was in the wallet and you saw that the idiot on the driver's licence had the same last name. I did have a heart-stopping moment of worry when you called and asked if I had a husband or brother by the name of "?". I wonder if that is how the CHP couch the terms of inquiring into the identity of a crash victim. It was the first thing I thought of.
Back to my original tale. My foster dogs get a few miles under their paws before I leave every morning. "A tired dog is a good dog", as we say. (Same applies for children). However, on days when I can't run them at lunch, despite the side yard they have access to, they have a lot of pent up energy spilling over when I get home in the evening.
The other day I noticed that they were more mellow than usual. I didn't find out why until the next day. I'm glad I didn't. "Oh, the dogs got out yesterday" said Hubby, with that naughty boy, not quite contrite enough to be believable, look on his face. The penny dropped. Before he explained I connected the garage door opener that I had seen, out of place, on the cabinet in the entry, and the culprit standing before me.
In the fifteen months that we have lived in this house, Hubby has mainly come and gone through the garage. On occasions, when he did decide to use the front door, I was home and the door unlocked. The problem arose last week when Hubby got home early and had difficulty getting in. (The key turns backwards). Not to be deterred, or intimidated by thoughts of what consequences there might be, he picked up and hit the button on his remote door opener and up went the garage door.
What did he think would happen? Of course the dogs rushed out. Of course they went to the neighbors' house where their little girl was catching butterflies on the front lawn. This same little girl who, every time I pass by says "You know I'm afraid of dogs. You know I'm afraid of dogs. You know I'm afraid of dogs." repetitively, until I and my demure and sedate canine companion have moved out of ear shot.
I'm told there was some impressive screaming. Head back, mouth wide open, one note shrieking with a large collie putting a paw on each shoulder so he could get better look at where the noise was coming from. My husband said how strange he found it that the girl's father did not come out to see what was going on. I think that's pretty strange myself.
I was horrified by Hubby's tale and fully expected to see the police on my doorstep. A couple of days later I was outside at the same time as my neighbor and I apologized profusely. "Oh", he said "These things happen. I assumed they were nice dogs if they were living with you". He's crazy, but it works for me. I haven't stopped grovelling. He and his wife are invited to our party Saturday. I imagine his daughter will spend some time repeating her doggy mantra. She's entitled.


  1. I had a neighbor 14 years ago, in her 30's and absolutely terrified of dogs. Then I move in next door, with a dog pack lead by a 115 pound Newfie looking mutt named Cujo. Down sizing from 20 acres to two.

    After her dad passed, her husband had been waiting for the old man to die for years, they sold both homes and moved to the Keys (islands of Florida) WITH their 2 cats and three very loved large house dogs.

    The day she was able to lay her hands on Cujo and keep them there, he of course looked at her with all the love in the world, she broke into tears, hugged him and sat there and cried like a took about three years to get to this point.

    I wonder if the neighbor girl "enjoys" her fear of sounds like her own dad may think so.

    And Hey, good luck with the party...we'll all be waiting on that blog ya know.

  2. He did agree that she "milks it" a bit. I believe she is slightly special-needs too, which accounts for the repetition. I told her I'd heard it enough the other day and now she tells her Dad she's afraid of me too. Should make for an interesting party. It is not my goal in life to terrorize a seven year old girl. I may even get her a gift, for the sake of harmony.

  3. I am rolling on the floor clutching my ample belly in an effort to avoid seismic jiggling!

    That old saw about gawd protecting babies and drunks should be expanded to include French Artists... I am so sorry about your momentary surge of fearful adrenaline. I hate that when it happens to me!

    You are too sweet for real life. I hope that she's faking and not really scared of you.

    Would you like a Mother's Little Helper?

  4. May I suggest a toy stuffed Collie?

  5. @eloh, my thought exactly, followed by That's going to be a pain to find thoughts. Years since I've been in a toy store. I'll let you know.

  6. Oh, good grief, what next? I guess a present for the little girl would be a good idea, if you can get close enough to give it to her. *sigh*

  7. It's amazing how you find out about that stuff, isn't it? It's sad when people are scared of (good) dogs - I'm nervous about bad ones myself but most are good. Hope the child learns that all dogs aren't bad.

  8. Hmmm, slap the husband and kiss the dogs,


  9. Silly kid, about time she realized how much nicer than humans dogs are. You didn't say what reward hubby got for letting the dogs out?
    How about an hour a day community service, preferably spent introducing the little girl to "the nice doggies"?

  10. GG. That's about right.
    Friko, Hubby's attentions? They really would be calling the police.

  11. Does the gentleman in this post have anything to do with : The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky ?

    Hmmm, do these things happen by accident or on purpose ? Or partially on purpose, in some sort of passive-aggressive retaliation for other issues ? Or, are you still head over heels in love and just somewhat facetiously describing your irritation for your reader's (me included) considerable amusement ?

    And if it's none of my darn business, well, you don't have to answer any of that, in any case, I enjoyed your story immensely, you do tell a good tale... :-D

  12. Owen, All of the above except the none of your business part. I wouldn't blog if I was hooked on privacy. One day there may be a whole separate blog on "reasons I keep him around". The negative stuff is just a better story sometimes. I am definitely of the facetious ilk.

  13. Will look forward to "Reasons I keep him around"... I'm sure that is going to be devastatingly excellent reading as well...

  14. eeeek!... how to win friends and all that! There's nothing worse than a screeching child, apart from a screeching child in your own house! Hope the party goes/went well, hope the big bouncy collies weren't too badly affected by their brush with the world.. Sometimes I'm glad we live seven miles from town!