I can't remember the last time my home did not include a cat, dog or multiples thereof. It took me a while to start walking again around the neighborhood. Every time I went out I was faced, not only with an emptiness where a leashed companion used to be, but many, many acquaintances giving me quizzical looks and the fresh tears never far from the surface as I explained one more time that Diva had been put to sleep. I perfected a technique of never really stopping; just keeping walking; never letting myself break down completely. There is something about putting one foot in front of the other that soothes and seems an acceptable escape from sympathetic looks and words, without appearing rude.
My foster-kitten Sparkles has been immersed in kittenly socialization with the other orphans for a week now. Her Mum-to-be visited her yesterday and said she is still even cuter in person than in photos. Sparkles fell asleep in her arms and those arms will be taking her home once she's a little older. I will check in on her next week myself.
I put my cotton robe/dressing gown in the washing machine this morning, after inhaling one last time from the innocent perfume of milky kitten that it had held onto.It seemed a bit final but endings turn into beginnings and change is good.
My goal is to find out who I am and what I want when I am not filling my life with duties and responsibilities to other living things, albeit much loved creatures.
I am going riding tomorrow at a new barn. (New to me). I was there years ago when Lovely Daughter rode there a few times with a friend. It had escaped my memory until I read a post from a blogger I've just started following. She mentioned a new barn she has recently begun attending. I could tell from her clues that this was the place. I liked what she had to say and as far as Karma is concerned, she's grieving her dog and struggling with her identity in life and marriage too. I thought she might freak out if I told her I know the place she has chosen not to name. I really like the sound of the trainer she described but it seemed stalker-like to ask for details so I'll infiltrate and see what I see for myself.