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Monday, October 4, 2010

Exorcism


The Handbag of Glory was violated on Saturday. My beautiful, softly glowing, red purse was molested by foreign hands; touched without honoring it's beauty; regarded by an evil eye.
When I returned to my, locked, automobile after an absence of less than twenty minutes, my wallet (purse) was on the front seat beside my purse (handbag). My heart sank as I reached to verify what I already knew. Someone had filched my cash.
For those of you who do not know me, I am very conscientious about details. I lock my car, I do not leave my wallet beside my purse. I put things back where they belong and manage to keep track of where things are without resorting to straightening-compulsions.
When I had driven into the parking lot in front of our new building a brief time before, I had noticed a gathering of "Semi-Simian Yahoos" hanging out together close by. Apparently, a neighboring business, specializing in forklift repair and maintenance, had allowed an employee to live in an RV on site and that had blossomed into a Saturday afternoon party with grubby, glassy-eyed, bearded-wonders, of an age that should have known better, hugging beer cans and leaning in and out of multiple pick-up trucks and work vans, strewn any which way but straight.
Our entrance is fifty yards away, the roll-up door was open and my husband was on our forklift unloading a truck full of palettes. I parked to one side of the door, pressed the electronic lock on my key chain and went inside to see how things were going.
I had had a moment's doubt about leaving my purse in the car, due to the "Elements" in the neighborhood but I had reprimanded myself for stereo-typing and shrugged off my suspicions.
Someone was more alert than they looked, scoped out his lovely prey on the front passenger seat and must have been adept with a Slim-Jim. The movie title "Gone in Sixty Seconds" comes to mind.
I am grateful that only cash was taken, and not much of that. I still have my check book and credit cards. The thief purloined more than money. He appropriated my happiness. "The Handbag of Glory" has had it's magical spell overshadowed by a dark, lurking presence. I don't have to see oily fingerprints to visualize them in my mind.
I have to get over this and take back the power. What better antidote to evil than kittens?
When Sparkles went to kitten boot-camp and "The Handbag of Glory" was very new, I visited the five furry felines to see how they were progressing. "The Handbag of Glory" was declared a kitten magnet and all kinds of climbing and playing took place in and around it. Resurrecting those photos has exorcised the evil. That and the visit the local police made to the "Yahoo Playground of Iniquity" late Saturday night, rousting one and all and apprising them of the local ordinance against RV camping. They have twenty-four hours to find a new home.
Maybe there's a Yahoo Rescue and Adoption Agency, I've never heard of, to help them find their forever homes. Maybe euthanasia has its positive side? Me? I prefer kittens.

20 comments:

  1. Ok class, who here can define "cause and effect"? Anyone? anyone?
    I thought not.

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  2. "What better antidote to evil than kittens?"

    I'll be damned if I can think of one!

    I'm really sorry to hear that The Handbag of Glory was contaminated with cooties from the hands of a sneak thief. I'm positive that you described your husband's physical whereabouts during the incident to prove to me that it was not he who purloined your cold hard cash.

    I hope that there will be no further incident around your new shop now that the riff-raff have been routed. If, in fact, the theft was attributable to the local SDFs, they must all be ruing the day. Loss of a perfectly good hangout over a fistful of dollars seems like a poor exchange.

    Bonne continuation with the move-in and the re-up on your current projects!

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  3. How horrible ! I'm sending evil thoughts their way .
    How is Sparkle doing in her new family ? Do you ever hear ?

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  4. Kittens are the weapons of Heaven against the forces of evil and choas. Everybody knows that. The Eqyptians certainly did. Hope your thief gets his comeuppance by agents feline or otherwise.

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  5. No better antidote for evil than kittens! Kittens were made by the Heart so that the whole of us does not fracture under the heaviness of our lives.
    Phooey on the yahoos...and be careful during this time of shakedowns and forced moves.

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  6. Mostly my cash lives deep in a pocket-
    however boundaries are not sacrosanct
    in this world, sadly- Good Kittens- except claws and teeth on leather-

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  7. Another good reason to never your purse. I wear a purse with a strap over my shoulder and across my front. Small purse really, but I always have it with me. What a horrible initiation to your new place of business.

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  8. Ms. Pliers, as you well know, one doesn't need cash if there are still checks in one's check book. (The Word according to Dearly Beloved)
    S&S Sparkles is growing like a weed, I'm told. The black kitten in the photo is her new big sister. I am promised photos, as I finally demanded "proof of life" technical issues are delaying transmission. As soon as I get some pictures, I will share.

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  9. Steve, I love a good Egyptian/feline curse. Thank you.

    Lydia, The power of kittens is infinite.

    Izzy, I did consider rescuing my purse from the kittens that day but they were so intent on exploration that I let them be. The purse survived unblemished. My bare ankles were shredded, however.

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  10. TechnoBabe, Lessons learned on all sides, I suppose.

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  11. Oh dear. I can only imagine how yucky you must have felt after the "violation" of the purse. However, as noted, kittens do have the power to heal all ills.

    The other night Keith Olbermann--who is apparently horribly allergic to cats himself--featured a little snippet of a kitten climbing into and eventually sleeping in a cup. Even he--physically required to not like cats--could not resist the cutie pie.

    Puppies are precious, but kittens are magic.

    Hopefully the RV squatters will be gone and your new neighborhood cleansed of the villainous pilferers. (Guessing, of course, they were the guilty parties--which seems pretty close to a sure thing.)

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  12. Jean, my reaction to someone manhandling my purse was visceral. Kittens seem to have the equal but opposite balancing effect.

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  13. ER, I'm so glad that you were able to banish wickedness with kittenishness. I'm sure you generally listen to your gut - if you've not read the fascinating 'Blink', I recommend it. You'd not try out-think your instincts again.

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  14. Hopefully the neanderthals will not associate your arrival with their forced departure, and cause future problems. In some countries the penalty for thievery is to have a hand cut off... Not such a bad idea perhaps. It would be a more powerful deterrent than the slap on the wrist many thieves get these days...

    And of course, kittens rock !

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  15. Owen, I can't say for sure that it was their doing. Now I have also learned that one of them has a Shetland Sheepdog (mini-collie) in who's eyes he can do no wrong. I'm doubting myself.

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  16. I think that's a quote for my collection:
    What better antidote to evil than kittens?

    Karma is going to get the evil-doers!

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  17. At first read I got "That's a quote for my tax collector"
    Kitten-power can be put to many uses.
    (I still can't believe the woman I graced with my special rescue kitten has been so remiss in providing updates or photos).

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  18. Not only was your purse violated (an offense that should be punishable by something really terrible), but so was your car! That for me would be even worse.

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  19. Donna,
    I hadn't even thought about the car. Much as I have loved my previous two vehicles, this one is nondescript, low mileage, low personality. It was rear-ended in the first few weeks I had it, and again since, so I didn't ever grow to love it. Now, if it had been my Lime Green Aztek, I would have felt differently. I have recently been looking at Craigs List to see if there was a low mileage Aztek waiting to be re-homed.

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