Loaves and Fishes

The fog had not yet lifted when we reached the coast yesterday morning. We had a client meeting on a construction site; the three-story home-to-be, on a hillside overlooking Princeton Harbor, had an uninterrupted view all the way to the horizon. The white breakers crashing on the far Northern periphery, a distant reminder of the brutal waves of Mavericks surfing fame.

We headed down, after our meeting, to see what the fishing boats might have to offer. These incredibly fresh Rockfish inspired us to cook up a storm and invite some friends over to share our catch.

Six fishes (not five), a loaf of crusty bread and some wine, were the basics around which we crafted our meal. Adding Belgian endives and garnishing with parsley, garlic, fennel, shallots and tomatoes produced a visual feast as well as a flavorful one.

I had gone back to the office for the afternoon, leaving The Artistic One at home to work on his computer and prep our dinner for later that evening.

I was quite pleased to have worked uninterrupted for a few hours and headed for home around five o'clock, stopping to buy brown sugar and cookies to crumble over the apples I was planning on baking for dessert.
We have a family saying: " If we don't have a fire or a flood then it's not a real party!"

TAOne's car was not in the driveway. The front door of our house was unlocked. This is a frequent occurrence when TAO leaves in a whirlwind of creativity, keys and locks are often disregarded.

Once inside, I was alarmed by the smell of burning. I rushed to the kitchen to see what had been left on the burner and forgotten.

I had never imagined that anyone could succeed in burning vegetable soup! My big, heavy, stainless steel saucepan had a two inch (5cm) black crust around the inside, bottom edge. It was no longer hot but the smell had invaded the whole house. TAO had opened doors and windows and left to get groceries.

I turned on the oven and started making my apple crumble, as much to counteract the bitter smokiness, as to be ready for our guests.

It took a lot of scrubbing with abrasive cleaning powder to return my big pot to functionality. If it hadn't been stainless I would have tossed it out without even trying. I have had several opportunities to test my skills in burned-pot redemption.

TAO was soon back with his purchases. As I went to put away cheese and butter in the overflow fridge in our garage, I was distracted from my huff about the burnt soup; TAO had put away the fish earlier, still in its plastic bag, topped up with crushed ice. The slightly pink and fishy juice had dribbled all over the refrigerator, flooding the drawers, creating a nasty pulpy mess of the paper-towel liners I had put in.

The whole thing had to be mopped up and cleaned from top to bottom right away.

With both of our talisman fire and flood elements taken care of, it boded well for our party. We were expecting Lovely Daughter and SIL, with new addition Enzo the standard black Schnauzer. The other couple to whom we had allocated a fish each are longtime friends I know I could call in an emergency. I know they would respond but I also know they would be late in responding and have a very good excuse and it would be totally someone else's fault.

Friends are friends, warts and all. Right?

My invite to them was to come at seven'ish. At two minutes to eight, as we all waited and wondered, they appeared with a bottle of wine and a tale about the idiot who had messed up their bill and taken a half hour to sort it out. Sigh! 

I had a hard time steering our dinner conversation away from politics, as we have just had mid-term elections. I don't mind a give and take conversation about issues and performance but a monologue kept getting launched, that I have heard before, full of Urban legends, conspiracy theories and bigotry. 

When it got to a list of black men who are superior enough to "Transcend their blackness" (as opposed to our President, who apparently does not), Will Smith was the shining example. 

First of all "Blackness" is not something that needs to be transcended. Secondly, listing Will Smith as a not too offensively black example of blackness, because you like his acting, is a bit like a comparison to Roman Polanski, who can transcend being a pedophile by directing good movies.

The trend did not improve and my patience wore thin. The trouble with friends you have known for twenty years, is that there is less restraint on both sides. 

I usually let them rant on with just a passing mention of my disagreement with their point of view and/or a smiling reproach that magical thinking and viral internet postings do not a fact make.

Last night I put a damper on the hysteria with a strong reminder that good friends should know, and take into account, the fact that not everyone agrees with them. I told them how rude and disrespectful I found it to be steamrollered again and again because I was too polite to tackle them head on.

I think my message was received this time. There was a moment or two of awkwardness and shock followed by dessert and the very late addition of  a mutual friend who was divorcing her unfaithful, alcoholic husband as she'd found he'd cleaned her out financially and not paid taxes. He recently fell or was pushed and fatally hit his head whilst out with his girlfriend. It has since been discovered that someone put sugar in his car's gas tank as well, so it is ruined.

As well as burying her past, our friend has a week left to vacate her home which she is now losing. She is moving to a much smaller space and holding a sale tomorrow of furniture and belongings she cannot keep.  Political Monologue friend had worked all day sorting and tagging possessions for  the sale; certainly living the experience as a precursor to what might still be ahead for her family as she lives on the edge of foreclosure. In the years we have known one another she has lost two siblings and a niece to cancer. She is without health insurance and afraid to get any health exams as they might not only show a problem but then it would be on record as a pre-existing condition and she couldn't qualify for insurance if she could afford it. This same woman is viscerally against the one man who is trying to make health care available to her. She lives in fear either way.
All three of us have been as supportive of one another as possible, referring business back and forth to one another whenever we can and talking on the phone to worry through problems.
The greatest achievement is just the fact that we are all still here.
Much like the deceptively calm waters in Princeton harbor, in Life as in Friendships, there are rocks lurking beneath the surface and rogue waves that will try to drown us. If we're going to make it through we'd better keep finding a way to pull together, regardless of our differences.
I know what I'm going to say next time I speak with P.M. Friend:  "Will Smith for President!"