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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Disingenuous: or How my Goat was Got...

Disingenuous: not candid or sincere, typically by pretending that one knows less about something than one really does.

I wrote in my sidebar that I have good friends with whom I disagree on just about everything. If we have been friends for decades, we can choose to leave certain subjects out of the conversation, or choose not to butt heads if the other person brings it up. We can also decide to engage in a spirited disagreement and still be friends afterwards, as long as we each respect that the other has a right to an opposing point of view. (Even if it borders on Magical Thinking and/or Conspiracy Theory).
The friendship brakes go on, however, if you start texting me on Thanksgiving Morning, knowing full-well that I plan a peaceful day to myself.
The day before Thanksgiving, we had a long phone conversation, chatting about all sorts of things. I recounted my evasive tactics; otherwise known as a non-diplomatic "Hell No" response to the invitation to certain family members' festive gathering; which closely followed their recent exchange of divorce papers and would include the feral grandchildren I have previously described.
My friend invited me to her Thanksgiving get-together, which was kind; although she'd already told me that she'd forgotten to defrost the turkey in time and knew that it wouldn't be ready. This friend always kindly offers to drive me to the airport. I know her well. I would never expect her to be in the right place at the right time. She'd have a great excuse. It would always be someone else's fault. It would drive me crazy. I reiterated my desire for a day to myself and thanked her for her offer, but declined.
No surprise that "she who never plans ahead" would text me Thanksgiving morning to ask to borrow extra chairs. My heart sank, as something as simple as that could develop into a wasted day of failed logistics and end in a flurry of sorry, sorry, sorry. I replied that my plastic garden chairs were available but that they were not folding chairs.
An hour later, a text popped up "Do you think your chairs will fit in the trunk of my car?"
She and I both know that a Porsche is not likely to have room for furniture in the trunk, or anywhere else for that matter. What I was really reading was her disingenuous approach to provoking an offer from me to bring her the darn chairs. My goat was got!
"Were you not listening when I told you I wanted to be left alone?" was my query back to her. 
Someone must have stolen her phone. I know she would have gotten back to me otherwise.
 

15 comments:

  1. I long ago learned to be wary of the wheedlers...though I sometimes think that that is how they run around in Porsches.

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    1. Helen, to me, a wheedler would come out and ask, with some whining and pleading. It's the "set me up" mentality that made me cross. In addition, she's showing me she thinks I'm stupid.

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    2. To me that's a wheedler...never open, always convoluted, setting a scene...ugh!

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  2. Pussy footing around is not for the likes of those who choose not to mince our words. Being direct and succinct to the point of driving a verbal stake through the hearts of the terminally indignant, now appears to be a full time chore.

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    1. Chef, I often ask myself "is this the hill I want to die on?" before going into battle. It has served me well.

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  3. You can always gift her a new phone for Christmas because she's obviously lost hers or she would have called you back. Ya, sure.....

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  4. I'd say she knew exactly what she was doing. I'm glad you came right out and said exactly what you were thinking. That got the message across and when her eyes stop sizzling from reading it she'll most likely find her phone and call you. Hopefully, to apologize.

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    1. Grey Horse, we'll just pick up again in a few days, as if nothing happened. She has a selective memory, as part of the package deal of who she is. Good Heart cancels out a lot of crap.

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  5. Good grief. She stepped way over the line this time. I absolutely love your straightforward, no nonsense response to her attempt to lure you into her world of disarray. I might have suggested she could tie the chairs to the car root...hee hee....but I like your direct and to the point reply much better. I doubt she will call you for a while. But no loss. *sigh*

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    1. Jean, any appointment with her would have been missed, reset, required phone tag etc. so I probably factored that in when cutting the cord.
      We often meet up for lunch, with our two husbands in tow. We sit down and order, request separate checks, and they arrive 30 mins later. We chat and then leave at will. There's English timekeeping, California timekeeping and then there's California Interior Designer timekeeping. Same planets, different worlds.

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  6. I am married to one, but not for much longer. I will have to use your response sometime....soon I think.

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    1. Wally, sorry to hear that. Don't forget to duck.

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  7. Pity that our phones can't generate an automatic reply like the out-of-office thing in Outlook. You could set it to do not disturb.

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  8. Argent, It wouldn't have occurred to me that anyone would call on a major holiday, other than to share holiday wishes.

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