Gardeners: Seers of the future.

"Seer"- a person with unusual powers of foresight; - one who divines the future.

Gardening is a leap of faith; optimism personified; visionary belief that planting, tending and nurturing will produce concrete results. Indefatigable Gardener Egos are prepared to accept that  lack of success does not mean surrender. There will always be next year.

The strange, finger-like leaves unfurling relentlessly from the shadows are this year's peonies-to-be. Part of my pleasure in gardening is that I see the images of the future; beautiful flowers to come. In my minds eye I leap from this to fragrant, pristine white flowers tinged with rose.

I tried and failed for three years to grow peonies. Then I had plants with leaves only. The blooms did not reappear the following year.  Now I have consistent success, using what I learned from each disappointment and counting on each previous failure to multiply my satisfaction.

Fake-It "Til you Make-It!

I am relentlessly cheerful. I have discovered that it does me no good to whine, critique and complain. If I can choose my path it is towards positive thoughts, helping others and fixing what is broken. However, my own momentum will carry me only so far. Sometimes I wish I were not so convincing when I proclaim that all is well; that I don't need any help.

I yearn to hear the words "thank you", "well done", "If you hadn't done...? We would be seriously fucked!" I hear those words often from friends and strangers. They are meaningful, not to be denigrated.

I never hear them at home; where the heart should be. I am tired and discouraged; yet a fool who will rise again tomorrow; full of hope.