Along for the ride:

Showing posts with label letting go. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letting go. Show all posts

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Le Pere Jordan




It's been a "Journey" since I've felt I had the freedom of time, or the mental bandwidth to write anything. The fact that two years have passed since our last trip to France, that ended in a Medical Evacuation back to the US, is hard to fathom.
I now feel slightly guilty saying that there are some positive aspects to our life, in view of everyone else's  struggles.
My husband will always be "The Artistic One".
When friends ask him what he's up to, he  speaks about painting and possible upcoming art shows. His easel, paints and a fresh canvas are still where they were in our family room/Art Studio, although I have moved things over a bit to facilitate the passage of TAO with his walker frame.
He no longer paints or reads. He sleeps a lot and then sits and watches TV from the kitchen table. When it's not too hot we sit on the covered patio and watch the wind move the tree tops and the dogs run the fence to bark at delivery drivers and people walking by.
As I sit with him, I share videos, from my Facebook feed, of silly cats, redneck creative transportation solutions and familiar regions of France.
The image above is a stained glass window he designed and had made for our French house. The character "Old Mr Jordan" gave TAO hell seventy-plus years ago when he let the cows wander into the wrong field. He also sat in the barn with him in winter and carved wooden clogs, while telling stories about the village. I've heard more stories about him than of TAO's father.
TAO had sketched this image, which we still have,in pencil, long ago. You can see the rolling hills in the distance. The fence line takes your eye where the Artist intended.
When discussing subject matter for this tall bathroom window, I thought this image would honor a World that meant so much to TAO and be relevant to the surroundings.


The house is under offer. It's unlikely we'll ever go there again.
TAO's eldest daughter has been fantastic, shouldering the responsibilities of finding and making arrangements with an Agent, a Notaire and even going to the Department of Construction Permits to have them give the final signature on a project that was completed a decade ago.
She's had all of our paintings moved safely into storage for us. I told her to let her siblings choose any that they might like for themselves and to give away any furniture and household stuff that the potential new owners didn't want.
The one thing I wanted to remove and keep was this window. Unfortunately, the craftsman that came to try to extract it found it was installed in a way that can't be undone.
We now have a small chip of blue glass as a souvenir and these beautiful photos, taken by she who would be my Step-Daughter, if she were younger and I were older.
 


Friday, July 16, 2010

Circles of Life



Diva had a check up last Saturday, scheduled long before we knew we were to have a foster kitten. Diva is my sweet collie girl with markings similar to Lassie. (Picture taken last year). Diva has never been the gung-ho, "rescue Timmy from the well" collie. She is all about peace and love; the Barbie flower child of collie-dom.
Many of Diva's social friends and acquaintances have passed on, to await their masters in the lovely meadow at the foot of the rainbow bridge. She is too old now for the play-date schedule but still puts up with a variety of animal house guests and foundlings.
Diva's visit was to draw blood to make sure her, now twice daily, dose of anti-inflammatory  meds was not creating havoc with her liver or kidneys.
As a large dog, fourteen years old is considered geriatric to the point of living on borrowed time. Yet, Diva's eyes are bright, she enjoys her food and we walk to the end of the block and back two or three times a day.
Just recently, I have noticed that she has become bony around her hips and back legs. That is her area of arthritis pain and she motors more from the front end than the back so I was not sure what to put down as normal, as her muscles atrophy.
As any girl will tell you, a good hair day and losing a few pounds will get you noticed in all the right ways, but I was beginning to have a nagging worry.
Back from the Vet's:
Diva has lost almost fifteen pounds. Five were extra, ten were not. She has been on the same amount of food for a long time and her excercise has diminished. On the other hand, her blood work was very good. Cholesterol, thyroid, liver, kidneys, pancreas and everything else they could test for. Our vet sounded amazed and pleased to tell me her good results when he phoned on Monday. I was happy too but not totally placated. He agreed we should keep a close eye on her.
This week, since her vet visit, Diva has refused her food a couple of times. She has been pacing in and out and around, which gave the impression she was perking up but I was reading some discomfort. I took her back in today and puzzled through her symptoms with a vet who was clearly listening and puzzling right along with me. Temp was normal, teeth were fine. We decided an X-ray was called for.
Diva has a "mass" as they call it, affecting her stomach area. I can't say I was surprised. I have had my suspicions, intermittently, for some time.
There is no particular change in her care, except a daily weighing up of how good or bad her life is for her.
I didn't refill her prescriptions. I don't imagine we will need them much longer. She is not going to see the month of August.
Any of you who have read my blog know that I am a pragmatist. It is a given fact that animals do not live as long as we would wish and that we can honor their memory by loving other creatures again, sometime in the future.
All of that does not relieve the pain nor stem the tears that must be shed.
Fuck!