Along for the ride:

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Something's Got to Change

Partly due to the event of my recent birthday, partly the economy, but mostly just waking up and asking myself what the heck the future holds and, if it's more of the same, do I want that?
My husband is averse to planning ahead. One thing he cannot "spontaneously un-plan" is his seventy-fourth birthday, which looms in May.
He is an Artist, a Creative Soul, and we have lived and worked together for more than twenty-five years. That's the good and the bad news.
I have created a monster! He believes in his own P.R. but I wrote it. There are clever pull-quotes in some articles that, when people ask, "Did he really say that?" I reply, "He would have, if he'd thought of it"
I put a positive spin on most everything and often we succeed just by creating our own momentum. But we don't have a plan. Other than perpetually getting up and doing the whole thing over again tomorrow, there is no plan.
It may come from a deeply female, nurturing instinct from the past but I want to know which cave I will be coming home to, in the event the dinosaurs overtake my cave-man.

to be continued...


  1. oh err ER, sounds deeply feminine that (I see myself in your words!!) Well, you will just, as usual it seems, have to engineer your own (and his) destiny.Petit à petit as they say.

  2. Making plans - something I've never been inclined to do. I know exactly what you mean though as I get older........

  3. Being someone who pays her rent for a couple of months in advance, overpays her utilities, pays her credit card in full every month, overpays the bill during the month in anticipation of expenditures, has lived in a 9' x 35' space with no in-house bathing facilities for three years in anticipation of an older husband's impending old age, has no pets, no children, and is prepared to go to France to live for the nationalized health care, I can definitely relate to your need to make hard decisions that will result in a different life predicated upon a new set of intentions, assumptions, and a vision that more closely resembles your own notion of happiness and satisfaction in daily life.

    And if you have to drag a French artist kicking and screaming into that future to avoid a full blown financial meltdown and total insolvency, so fucking be it.

    I'm just sayin'.

  4. This is a fascinating topic and one thing I wished I had done when I was younger. As some of you know, my husband died some months ago. Actually it is soon coming on to a year. And I was not prepared either physically or emotionally for his departure. And I suppose everyone thinks it is silly for he was in a rest home suffering from Alzeimers so I had plenty of warning, but I guess I was just built with this "it can't happen to me" syndrome.

    I think it would be a wonderful idea for every woman to plan what she would do when she is suddenly alone at the top of her family. My birth family is all gone as well and my children are scattered all over the U. S. Jim has been with me but I know that he will leave soon.

    And at my age, all my friends are dead or in rest homes and I am not for which I am grateful. But I am fast approaching the point where I cannot live alone and the alternatives are not what I would like to do. Going to live in France sounds like fun.

  5. Welcome Bernie, and thanks for dropping in. I popped over to your place and found your style very easy and entertaining with some home truths thrown in. I haven't found any answers, although I am taking more care of my own desires, which is a step in the right direction.