Along for the ride:

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

I used to consider myself a very good passenger on road trips, short or long. I could disassociate myself from the driving, enjoy the scenery or read a book; implicitly putting my faith in whomever was behind the wheel..
In the decades since I met and fell in love with he who shall be named "Lead-Foot" I have relinquished all pretense at relaxation in the passenger seat. We jolt and zig-zag and zoom around. I have been told that the brake pads suffer less wear and tear when stomped on at the last possible second. Many a driver who was daydreaming along behind, albeit a little too close for safety, has suddenly discovered how a tow-hitch can seriously indent a front bumper. For my enjoyment there is the additional surprise factor of never quite knowing whether or not Lead-Foot has noticed the stop sign, traffic light or, his favorite, pedestrians.
I wrote previously about how inconvenient it is to Lead-Foot that small people are not always visible above the front of the car. "What's that knocking?" I have heard him ask at marked cross walks deviously hidden by elderly folk in San Francisco's China Town. "What are they thinking walking off the sidewalk?" "They could cause an accident!"
This morning Lead-Foot left before me as we both headed out to work. There is a straight stretch of highway between home and the freeway on-ramp. The speed limit is 40 mph. I was at about 41 mph as I noticed the motor cycle cop looking for prey with his radar gun. My momentary worry that he might come after me stemmed from years of my English "Rules are Rules" heritage. I was checking my rear view mirror for flashing lights until I saw that someone else had already been sidelined by his partner further ahead. As I passed I realized that I knew that car. I resisted the urge to stop, offer to translate or provide drivers license number etc. Lead-Foot often forgets his wallet. It has saved him before that I had put a photo copy of his papers in the glove box. Even if it's not the original, a cop can run a verification on his computer to be sure he's only dealing with an idiot, not an axe-murderer.
The recent complete loss of Lead-Foot's original license, which he blames on the traffic stop before last, meant that a new license had recently been applied for and received. I've asked the man of my dreams several times if he had put a copy in his car.
I decided, as I drove ruthlessly by, that it wasn't really my problem. Let the consequences fall where they may. I made it twenty minutes along the road before my phone rang with a familiar caller ID. The traffic stop was complete but, when Lead-Foot was allowed to proceed he couldn't. Flat battery, dead as a door nail.
Triple A are the heroes of the hour. I pulled off the road, made a call and directed them to Lead-foot's whereabouts. I'm always amazed that there is no red flag warning attached to our account. We certainly get our money's worth from the roadside assistance insurance. I did ask them if they were willing to take him and keep him, sort of like a belated Christmas present. That's unfortunately not part of our coverage.

26 comments:

  1. Awwwww.... but I bet he's cute. That makes up for a number of drawbacks :)

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  2. And he's making little flowers happy!

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  3. As I sit here laughing, my neighbour, the opposite of your dear lead foot, is scaring motorists on the multilane thoroughfare next to our community. If she's going 20 mph in a 45 zone, I'd be surprised...

    I hope the new year is a happy one!

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  4. Ha! Ha! Ha!

    You know how they accuse some men of being "babe magnets," or something like that? Well, you gotta admit, Lead-Foot is definitely a "traffic cop magnet."

    (Serenity now... Serenity now... Serenity now...)

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  5. Heh, my hubs had a somewhat heavy right-foot in his youth which led to high adrenaline-levels in the bloodstream. To be fair, he didn't have accidents, but life's stressful enough without adding to it. Your post made me smile on a miserable Wednesday-first-day-back-at-work.

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  6. I'm glad you can still find humor in the "Adventures of Lead-Foot," although, wouldn't a French appellation be better? (Not up on my French, so I can't offer a translation...)

    I have to laugh at your driving by instead of stopping. It's pretty clear you've been there before. Triple A is a marvel in moments like this--but of course your hubby would never have thought of it. *lol*

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  7. A certain insouciance about paperwork and permits can be so easily misunderstood by petty officialdom , can't it ?

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  8. A home for bewildered or belligerent drivers? Now that's something the AA could run with here in the UK...!

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  9. My husband says the same things about brake pads! It is a "guy-thing"! Funny blog!

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  10. I'm a better passenger than I used to be, but I still shudder when a driver tells me that the problem with cars today is, you're doing 90mph before you realise! If I can feel the acceleration, why can't they?

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  11. I'm a rubbish passenger and my other half is a pretty good driver. I'd probably be a gibbering wreck with your other half. LOL Glad he survived the stop!

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  12. The Merry, There have to be reasons I keep him around, don't there?

    Silliyak, Gotta love an inside joke:)

    e, too slow is not good either.

    Ms Pliers, we all know why your hubby offers to drive whenever we get together. Self-preservation!

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  13. Argent, I always imagine my hubby leaves a trail of carnage in his wake as other drivers react to his passage.

    Jean, "Pied en Plomb" acronym PEP seems about right. He knows about Triple A but he can't call himself as they don't speak French. In addition, he's terrible at giving directions or knowing where he is.

    S&S, He wears me out.

    Steve, but the food would have to be up to a certain standard to attract French drivers.

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  14. Heidi, who knows? Technically, they might be right, but is it worth the wear and tear on jostled passengers?

    Martin, Lead-Foot can feel the acceleration. He likes it. It's the rules of the road he has a problem with.

    Di, I often make excuses to travel separately,or drive myself.

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  15. You drove right on by him???
    Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!

    Oh my heavens, that has me in stitches!

    Bless you, English Rider, I needed a good laugh!

    I hope your end of year is absolutely fabulous! Bonne Année, Bonne Santé!
    Bisouxxx

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  16. I grew up in southern CA and your hubby grew up in France, right? But we both learned to drive from the same instructor. How did that happen?

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  17. Kitty, Darn it, I lost my connection so here is my answer again. The healthiest thing i ever did was to disengage from Hubby's eternal crisis. I commiserate politely but I do nor participate whether it be road-drama, insufficient socks in the drawer or a misplaced wallet or passport. "So Sorry" sous-entendue "Deal with it!"

    TechnoBabe, I think it's called "Self-Taught".

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  18. The simple fact that you are still with him is a sure sign that true love is indeed a VERY powerful force in our lives...

    Hope the ticket didn't put too big a dent in your end of the year budget...

    Happiest of holidays to you ER, it has been a real pleasure reading your pieces over the past many months... looking forward to lots more to come. Always come away from here with a smile... albeit sometimes a smile of sympathy... French spouses are not always easy, n'est-ce pas ?

    :-)
    :-)

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  19. Owen, who knows where the paper-work has landed. I haven't seen it yet. There have been two others recently for driving with a phone to his ear. I can see that we need to plan for a chauffeur in our new year's budget. I always liked the words in Desperado "Take it to the limit, one more time".
    Joyful New Year to you and yours.

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  20. OMG, I laughed myself silly on this because, oh boy, can I relate. I am married to a Lead Foot too and mine happens to be near sighted so he follows too close as well. That makes me a white knuckle passenger.

    I would have driven right by as well and my hubs does not speak French, although his heritage is certainly French, and he would have called me if his battery were dead.

    Happy New Year to you and Lead Foot!

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  21. Rainbow, "SOMEONE" had a fender-bender yesterday. More paperwork to do. Sigh.

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  22. What Kitty said, exactly!

    I love your style.

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  23. Oh, no, that isn't good..... a ticket and a wreck in one week. If that happened here, my LF would owe me big. LOL

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  24. Lydia, to be continued, I'm sure...

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  25. Had you not the fabulous sense of humour that you have, you might have put a gun to your temple by now.

    I laughed and laughed and laughed. All while feeling sorry for you.

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  26. Deborah, It is definitely too late to think of jumping ship. (Maybe I would if lead-foot was at the helm:)

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