Along for the ride:

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Fake-It "Til you Make-It!

I am relentlessly cheerful. I have discovered that it does me no good to whine, critique and complain. If I can choose my path it is towards positive thoughts, helping others and fixing what is broken. However, my own momentum will carry me only so far. Sometimes I wish I were not so convincing when I proclaim that all is well; that I don't need any help.
I yearn to hear the words "thank you", "well done", "If you hadn't done...? We would be seriously fucked!" I hear those words often from friends and strangers. They are meaningful, not to be denigrated.
I never hear them at home; where the heart should be. I am tired and discouraged; yet a fool who will rise again tomorrow; full of hope.

18 comments:

  1. ER, I winced at your last label - but it's funny too. Hope this miniature geyser has relieved some pressure and that you will find your praises sung to the heavens at home and abroad very soon.
    (P'raps you could lead by example and tell every mirror you see how grateful you are for yourself. Within earshot of the others, of course...)

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  2. Well can I say 'thank you' and 'well done' for many laughs and a good read here on your blog!

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  3. One of the perils of being a natural born optimist, is that those closest come to sub-consciously regard you as a constant in their lives. You may not hear the plaudits, but you are appreciated.

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  4. There is great melancholy in your words here hen, and just the right amount of enjoyable pathos. Nice.. very nice.

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  5. Hope things improve - sounds like you're being taken for granted!

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  6. As you know, I have offered to buy you a gun on many occasions... Come to think of it, if memory serves, I've probably brought them to many a party.

    Thus, all I can write is that I consider it to be quite positive that you will admit to relentless cheerfulness, which has got to be burdensome, from my humble POV.

    I will also go out on a limb to make it very clear for God and anyone else reading this post and its subsequent comments that, to paraphrase an old saying, behind, below, beside, above, around, and in front of the successful French Artist who believes his hype is the English Rider who advertised, created, supported, nurtured, sold, nursed, labored for, secretaried for, raised its lovely daughter, included its former life's friends & family, cultivated its U.S. friends, transformed its very serious logistical & legal problems, rode roughshod over its citizenship & tax requirements, and self-effaced to keep peace and harmony for two and a half decades.

    The French Artist is a tableau vivant that would have never made it to and/or through the multidimensional canvas of real life, with such success, if it had not been restored, conserved, and maintained by the English Riding Art Conservationist in a tour de force of reinvention and artistic production.

    I'll stop now... But I won't stop for long...

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  7. Your sense of humor, sense of irony, and intelligent perspective are much appreciated here.

    Hard to say why people to not say "thank you" as often as they should. Words can make a difference but using them is often a lost art.

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  8. You are certainly not a fool for your optimist outlook. Nearly everyone could benefit from taking on your perspective. I certainly appreciate you, your wisdom, your wit, and you optimism.

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  9. Pliers, O.K. you get the contract. You can write my Press release,Memoirs, or Obituary any time! What are we calling it? "Confessions of an Optimist, by a Pragmatist?" "Why He Had To Go?"
    "How to Commit the Perfect Crime?"

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  10. Deborah, Thank you. I do know my self worth. I also know that I will never see it reflected in the eyes of the one person who means much to me.

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  11. Trudi, Thanks for kindness. This blog is a mostly happy place. I may have to churn through a few dark posts until I get my bounce back.

    Martin, Who sings for songbirds?

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  12. Jimmy, I perceive the dark, though mostly I choose to stand in the light. If I didn't have an old dog who needs my care (no really, the canine kind) I was thinking of buying a plane ticket yesterday and flying to see all my family in Scotland. (1982 was the last visit and Aunt Nessie won't be there forever). Life sucks sometimes. Choices, choices....

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  13. Kate, On the head, you hit the nail!

    Jean, Kindness matters so much to me. Thank you.

    Shattered,I can't always deny the realities around me, although I work quite hard at it:) My problems are small, I must regain my perspective.

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  14. Please be happy, be happy for both of us. I'm sorry people don't seem to appreciate you. Good times for you, I hope..... I love your blog.

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  15. I think there are times you can smile so much it hurts your face...
    They say, happy people make happy people and sometimes you've got to let others taste the bitter to appreciate the sweat...I would book those Scotland tickets. I love reading your blog too x

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  16. Di, thanks. Unfortunately my problem is more specific than "people in general" I'll get over it.

    Wiola, We'll see. Another new day will dawn tomorrow.

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  17. ER, have you considered dramatically overstarching the crotch of his underwear?
    I had a wife that used to do that to me from time to time. I can tell you, it causes serious discomfort. She always denied it, but during the divorce she told me she considered it to me the human version of a dog's shock collar.
    Give it some thought, that's all Im saying.

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  18. Dave, My Aunt was known to sew up the legs at the bottom of my Uncle's pajamas. I like your idea better.

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