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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Getting a Life

After whining a few weeks back about the emptiness of my personal life, I have recalled several lessons that I had previously learned and somehow forgotten.
Diagnose Problem then choose a path towards a Solution, even if it involves lots of little steps!
I made an appointment for an introductory visit to Curves. I had some preconceived notions about this exercise program especially for women. Just the word "Franchise" brings all kinds of Time-Share, hard sellathon, marketing people to mind. I wasn't sure if it was going to be cultish and God-driven. What little brain I have resists washing quite determinedly.
There were quite a few suspicious-seeming questions to answer at the beginning of my visit. "What were my goals?" answer: fill some gaps in my life and improve my health and fitness so that I would be around to live it. "Did I want to give them the names of three friends they could contact who might want to join?" No! I intend to make new friends as part of my membership.
I was given quite a talk about the benefits of their methods. There was a lot of smiling and eye contact being beamed my way by perky and ever so enthusiastic Mimi. Introductions were broadcast to the women who were working out at that time; less scary than all the New-Girl days I experienced during my school life, but a bit awkward all the same.
I was shown how some of the machines function. Loosely arranged in a circle, there are different apparatus to work on different muscle groups with a bouncy pad in between each one for cool down, jogging in place activity. The music is rhythmic, along the lines of Abba's Dancing Queen, and every thirty seconds a flight attendant wanna-be voice says "now change stations". You complete the circuit twice, which takes thirty minutes then do some additional stretching and "Voila!"
Surprising myself, I signed up. Surprising myself, I love it.
There is none of the boredom of being on the same stair walker for an interminable, uphill hike to nowhere; none of the cattle market appeal of spandex clad bodies just dying to hook up with one another; no side by side isolation, because the human next to you is reading a book and wearing ear phones. In short, it's a social and friendly environment I can drop into or out of at any time during the hours of business, work up a sweat, chat a bit with a whole new pool of potential buddies and go home with a red face and an endorphin rush that remind me of my disco days.
My other small step in the right direction is that I have signed on to volunteer at a non-profit that does therapeutic horse riding for disabled children, and some adults. I went to the orientation last Saturday and start as a side-walker or horse leader on Friday afternoon. Each rider has three people to keep them safe, one leading the horse and one walking along each side. There is a designated "talker" so as not to overwhelm or confuse the rider. The "talker" repeats the teacher's instructions and helps the rider carry them out. Being the designated "Non-Talker" will be a good lesson in self control, until I can be trusted to do no harm in another role. I practiced a bit of non-talking at volunteer orientation, as the person in charge of our group "taught" us to groom and saddle a horse.
When I schedule stuff for myself I can be waylaid or dissuaded by other duties. When I promise something to someone else, nothing stands in my way of keeping that commitment. So it will be something good that puts me close to horses and their people. I also hope to learn something and, again, meet new people.
I used to say that horses were my vocation and people were my hobby. The path forward seemed so clear and straight back then. Like everyone, over time, I've experienced some forks in the road. You make your choices and you live them as best you can. I have recently realized that I had lost myself a bit along the way.
I have the feeling I've got a new map with some new choices. Over hill and dale is fine with me, just as long as there is forward momentum.

31 comments:

  1. Good for you! All sounds like positive steps, and as I'm sure you know - allowing new things into your life, by it's nature, will make for new experiences.

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  2. Joanna, somehow my life had gotten smaller and smaller when I wasn't paying attention.

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  3. Your steps so far sound wonderful. I hope you'll keep us apprised. I'm looking into some "new" things myself...at this point, I've nothing to loose. Give yourself a pat on the back!

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  4. Hope this does not interfere with your "job" as a commenter on other people's blogs, you would be missed.

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  5. I have to agree with Silliyak :)

    I've heard good things about Curves and also good things about horse therapy programs.

    But, um, well, can I make a suggestion? You wrote that if it's a commitment you make to yourself, it gets overridden by other people's needs. Can you make going to Curves a commitment to your blog readers? That way you'll feel obligated to go and get that exercising in, 'cause we're all counting on you and would be disappointed... and sad... and let down... and...

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  6. Well, high fuckin' five that, ma chère! I am so excited for you!

    I can empathize greatly with your description of having looked up to find that you had lost a bit of yourself on one of the byways of life. Congratulations on having settled on two new recreation areas in which to make new friends and expand your horizons. It is their gain to have you in their midst!

    And I know for a fact that you put that "Dancing Queen" reference in there to torture me for at least the next three hours with a ceaseless replay of the song in my pea brain!

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  7. By doing something for others, you'll also be doing something for yourself. Giving really IS better than receiving. And you're giving the best gift: the gift of your time, your compassion and your magnificent self.

    All those forks in the road one takes, I hear you. I've done much the same. They've left me feeling rather 'forked' myself...

    It cheers me to hear that you are doing something for YOU, you've seemed a bit down of late, if you don't mind me saying. And if you do, well, I've already gone and done it. Sorry. Please keep talking, for yourself of course, but also may I plead selfishly for all of us as well? And I'll echo Silliyak and Merry, your visits Shaynew are always a happy occurrence.

    Curves sounds like something I would enjoy, yes, as the circuit idea sounds fun, social and unique, plus I have this unnatural abhorrence for brightly coloured Spandex and latex. I believe it has something to do with the elective course I took at SDSU - 'Disco 201' and also from all those years I spent working in theatre.... Hmmm. (I think I'll stop that line of thought now as the facial tic seems to be reappearing...) I'm sadly aware there is no such 'Musculation' animal here where I live. Climbing endless staircases and walking back and forth to Leclerc and Intermarché is about as good as it gets for me. So, please, do keep us updated with what goes on, I can experience Curves vicariously through you. All the while avoiding random rogue Spandex encounters.

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  8. e, thanks for the encouragement. I hope your "new" things are a success.

    Silliyak, "Old Faithfull", that's me, never fear.

    Merry, I had heard from a couple of people that they hated Curves. Everyone's different, of course. I am trying to change my patterns to get new results. The biggest thing I gave up for others was attendance at my Mother's funeral. A huge regret and an indictment against those who feed off me. Don't get me started!

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  9. Ms. Pliers, I know that you are currently singing "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams" You have a lovely voice but that song?

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  10. Kitty, why would I be down? Business is scary, my dog, walking companion and non-judgmental friend died, the cat hasn't been seen for a week and is probably a crunchy memory in a coyotes dream, I haven't been to England and/or seen my family in over two years. etc, etc. I keep throwing myself towards the sunny side of the street and every time I'm part way there I get mown down by a damn truck full of...Oh and did you read my post "The recession is my fault?"

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  11. Good stuff! My younger daughter did some volunteering at a therapeutic riding place while she was in high school - she really enjoyed it. One of my fellow boarders has a son with some sensory processing deficits, and he really benefits from the program he's riding in.

    Small steps is the way to go - you're very inspirational!

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  12. Wonderful choices...neither of which I could make at this point with my knees. I really hate repetitive exercises, but it seems Curves may have solved that problem.

    As for the therapeutic riding--right on! Ever since seeing a young girl with cerebral palsy absolutely transform the moment they placed her on a horse's back, I've been hooked on the concept. I think some of your best moments ever are going to come from this volunteering move.

    I'm glad to hear you are taking some steps to make your life more satisfying. I have a feeling you are going to be much more content as time goes on.

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  13. Kate, back when I was a trainee riding instructor in England (30-some years ago) we had a large group of disabled kids come in once a week. There was a boy who had never spoken a word in his seven years of life and the first word he spoke was the name of the pony he rode each week. That stayed with me all this time.

    Jean, I have a knee and ankle problem, although not as bad as yours. I am amazed that they are both feeling better, not worse. The exercises are very supervised to make sure we are in safe positions and you take the repetitions slow or fast at your own strength level. 30 seconds is a great, short spurt without time to get tired or bored and you can also skip a machine if it's not for you.

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  14. It all sounds great! I'm familiar with the 'losing oneself' and need to become more familiar with the 'getting a life'. Good for you!!

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  15. Di, At least we are not alone in our quest:)

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  16. It really sounds good and that Curves business is rather interesting (did some googling ;) - hope the new plan of action works a treat for life getting!

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  17. Wiola, I think the basis of the idea is called "circuit training" although when we did that in school gym class there were jumping jacks involved:) It is very well supervised and supported. That I like.

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  18. Dear ER, you know what's wrong with you, don't you? You need another dog.
    Walking in fresh air will tone the muscles and lighten the mind, you'll stop to chat to other dog walkers which takes care of the need for human interaction and you get to admire the scenery and nature at the same time. And think your own thoughts without interference from others.

    I don't know if any of that is possible in California, but my Shropshire hills are perfect and the best therapy anybody could have. For Free.

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  19. You have indeed taken steps toward good health. Your description of Curves sounds like a positive experience, and I particularly like how there is moving and less boredom while exercising. I look forward to hearing how the whole experience is for you. The therapeutic horse riding volunteer position sounds like a perfect place for you to help others and at the same time teach you things. I wish you continued success with your work toward health and peace in your life.

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  20. Friko, You are spot on that the biggest void in my life is since we are no longer a canine household, with all the love, exercise and socialization that includes. Unfortunately, I feel that taking on a dog right now would be a selfish move. I could not be sure to afford vets bills and I am not home during the day. I am still on the foster/rescue list. We talked about two older foreclosure collies yesterday. If they don't find homes by January then I will take them until they do. I wouldn't feel guilty leaving two together for hours as they'd have company and collie rescue pays their bills.

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  21. TechnoBabe, Thanks for the support. You yourself are a great example of one who takes steps to improve life and relationships.

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  22. The trouble with getting here late (or maybe it's an advantage) is that everybody has already said what I might have been able to come up with. But I'll add my bit anyway, which is to say that I heartily applaud your new initiatives and encourage you to do more of that Me stuff. Bravo!
    I didn't realize Curves had a different approach to other gyms, and am intrigued. Unfortunately there are none in the So. of Fr. but Calgary has them.
    One of the things I like about you, ER, is your unerring aim, and especially when you have yourself in focus. (|Did that make any sense?) Like Silliyak and others, I fervently hope that your activities don't take you away from us, but I doubt that will happen, somehow. I think you've just got more grist for the mill. Looking forward to the rest!

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  23. Also meant to say that the absent kitty is very sad news - you've heard all the stories about cats who return after weeks away (mine did) and I do hope this is true for yours. So sorry you have this to weigh on you as well as all the rest. Hugs.

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  24. You are absolutely correct. I no doubt sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" along with 5-6 different performers courtesy of my vast collection of Christmas CDs and the 60kms between home and civilization (OKA: The MALL) in Poitiers!

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  25. Volunteer work is perfect when it ties in with your interests and expertise and this sounds just right . It should be fun .
    As an exercise-phobe I'd walk a mile from anything resembling Curves , but this does less scary than most .
    I'm full of admiration for your get up and go !
    Hope cat gets tired of adventure and comes home soon.

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  26. Deborah, So I'm a loose cannon, about to shoot myself? I know that's not what you meant:) I am definitely trying to ignite some of my old fire-power. I'll let you know how it goes.

    Ms. Pliers, I knew it!

    S&S, I was the only one who showed up yesterday. I now know there is a phone number to call to verify if the therapy session has been cancelled due to rain (or threat of rain, as was the case yesterday). In my English mind, grey skies and a light drizzle did not count as a deterrent but, obviously, the therapy riders are more sensitive. See, I already learned something!

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  27. I was derelict in also not recommending GENTLE yoga.(I already have the title of worst yoga student ever, and I haven't been kicked out yet, so there should be no pressure to 'get it right') You might have to do some looking around, but I highly recommend that and also look into meditation. If none of THAT sounds practical, do some reading on breathing techniques. Oh and commenting! Definitely should comment.

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  28. Silliyak, I can't be tied to a class that happens at a set time. I have too many unplanned schedule conflicts (ie, if a client shows the slightest interest, I'm his/hers). And I like working up a sweat. I'm honored that you like my comments. I recognize that I am sometimes so concise that I'm barely there.

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  29. Sounds great. I loved curves when I was in the states. I did see results, most importantly in the way I felt-- what a great way to get some exercise. Well done!

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  30. All sounds very positive !

    You're going to have to be careful though, after you've been at curves for a while and have gotten back into the kind of shape you want to be in, and continue walking those horses, one of these days, Robert Redford is going to walk into a session, and start whispering in your ear, or to your horse anyway...
    :-)

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  31. Hostage, I'm getting a kick out of it. The variety and flexibility work well for me.

    Owen, Thanks for conjuring up another old man for me. I already have one of those, although mine doesn't speak horse. Neither can act worth a damn!

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